Remembering Forever
by bjames238
Summary: Alternate ending to 6.23 "Forever And Almost Always" The hours after Lucas and Peyton's wedding turns out a little different, leaving baby Sawyer an instant orphan. Or does it? Story much better than the summary. Honest.
1. Prologue

**Remembering Forever**

One Tree Hill Season 6 A.U.

**Prologue**

Peyton waited patiently as Lucas went to get her surprise ready. Her hand subconsciously rested on her eight-month-old belly. Everything was perfect. There were lights glowing around the house, flower petals strewn about flawlessly. She'd never seen anything so beautiful and it was all for her.

"Peyton Sawyer will become Peyton Scott." That was the dream and it was finally true.

She smiled, looking down at the new ring on her finger. It was beautiful. Not to big, not to small. Just right.

She glanced down at the petals below her feet. A red drop landed on a white petal, staining the flower. Her smile faded as another drop fell on the flower, followed by a splash of red that gathered in a puddle. Instantly Brooke's earlier words 'would the bride like to wear red today' flashed in her mind.

That's when the pain struck her side, spreading throughout her entire body. She stumbled forward, falling to the floor. The last thing she saw before her eyes closed was Lucas's feet rushing toward her and his voice, "Peyton!"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The incessant noise overwhelmed her senses. Nothing felt right . . . in fact she couldn't feel anything. Slower her vision returned and she was assaulted with the image of a gloved hand preparing needle right next to her. Panicked, she turned her head only to see another gloved hand pushing a clear mask in her face. Then out the corner of her eye she saw Lucas. There was blood on his white shirt and he looked terrified.

What happened? She couldn't remember how she'd gotten to this moment. The last thing she remembered was leaving the reception with Lucas. Her feet were just aching and she wanted to go home.

The steady beeping became a constant whining noise. She began to feel sleepy again . . . and everything went black . . .

To Be Continued . . .


	2. Chapter 1

**Remembering Forever**

One Tree Hill Season 6 A.U.

**Chapter One**

Brooke got out of the car, straightening the wrinkles from her black dress. She dropped her keys in her purse, slinging the black bag over her shoulder. Tears that had stained her eyes for days were ever present, a hard crusty reminder, as she made her way to the backseat of her psuedo-suv.

Her eyes stopped on the backseat. Or rather, the person in the backseat. At five-days-old, Sawyer Scott was obivious to the tragedy around her. She slept peacefully, cooing softly in her sleep. She didn't even notice when Brooke unfastened her from the carseat and picked her up. She held the baby close, hugging her.

Sawyer didn't know that she was an instant orphan.

The night and day after Lucas and Peyton's wedding was a blur for all of them. Brooke remembered Lucas and Peyton leaving the reception in Keith's old red mustang, waving to everybody. Next thing she knew she was a temporary guarding to a newborn.

They said it was complications from the condition Peyton had, placental previa. Brooke had been with Lucas with the doctor broke the news to the poor, new husband/widow. The doctor said it wasn't anything that anyone did or didn't do . . . it just happened. One of those medical mysteries.

Lucas appeared calm . . . Brooke knew he was just trying to hold it together. The doctor told him he could see her if he wanted to. So...Brooke escorted him to say goodbye to his dead wife. He was fine, at first, held it together all the way to the room. The moment he saw her body just laying there, not moving, still rounded with her pregnant belly . . . he lost it. He rushed up to her and held and sobbed. And then . . .

That was it.

He gasped, clutching his chest, crying out in pain. He fell to the ground and Brooke screamed. "Lucas!" It wasn't long before the doctors heard her and came rushing in.

Not even an hour later Lucas was dead as well.

And so here she was. Five days and a whole lot of grief later . . . the funerals of Lucas and Peyton Scott. Attended by their oprhaned newborn daughter.

Brooke wiped the tears from her eyes as she adjusted Sawyer in her arms. The girl was still asleep. She walked across the parking lot, her heels clanking on the blacktop. She joined Nathan, Haley, Jamie, and Deb where they stood just on the edge of the grass. All, like Brooke, wore black. Not to mention the dismal expressions on their faces. Jamie looked like he'd lost his best friend, which, yeah he did.

As soon as Brooke was close enough, Haley enveloped her friend in a fierce, grief-stricken hug—though of course she was careful of the bundle in Brooke's arms. Both of them cried.

"It doesn't feel real," Haley's voice cracked. "Or fair." Brooke nodded, agreeing.

"Not even a week ago they were engaged with a baby on the way. And now . . ." Nathan trailed off.

"Are Karen and Larry here yet? Derek?" Brooke asked.

Deb shook her head, "We haven't seen them yet."

"God, Karen must be losing her mind," Brooke took a deep breath. They all nodded, knowing what Karen had gone through when she lost Keith. Now her son and daughter-in-law were gone too.

"How's Sawyer?" Haley asked.

Brooke sighed, "Perfect. She hasn't cried or fussed since I brought her to my place." They all felt the same unfairness of the situation. Sawyer was grieving her parents because she'd never known them...and never would.

"Can I hold her?" Haley asked, holding out her arms.

"Of course," Brooke put the newborn in her aunt's arms.

"She's so tiny," Haley whispered.

"She really is," Brooke took a deep breath. "And exactly like both of them. Looking at her . . . it's looking at them."

"She's definitely a Scott," Deb commented.

"There's Larry and Derek," Nathan pointed across the parking lot at the two suited males walking toward them.

"Karen's just pulling up with Andy and Lily," Deb noticed.

"Guess it's time," Brooke sighed, seeing Mia and Chase pull up as well.

To Be Continued . . .


	3. Chapter 2

**Remembering Forever**

One Tree Hill Season 6 A.U.

**Chapter Two**

A week later Brooke, Nathan, Haley, Karen, Larry, and Derek sat in the office waiting for the lawyer who Lucas and Peyton hired to sort though all their final will documents together. It turns out that in the scare of finding out about Peyton's condition, both Lucas and Peyton got their wills together. The lawyer entered the room, greeting them with condolensces.

And so the meeting commenced . . .

Brooke wanted to pay attention as two of her very best friend's belongings and assets were handed out to their loved ones like an auction . . . but it was all just to much for her to think about. The only thing on her mind was the little girl who was affected most by this double loss.

Sawyer would have to grow up without a mother or a father—a situation that was far too common in Tree Hill for Brooke's taste.

"Miss Davis?"  
Brooke shook her head from her thoughts. "Yes?" She answered the lawyer.

"Are you okay, Brooke?" Haley said.

"I'm fine," Brooke responded.

"I know this is hard," The lawyer kept going.. "It's never easy to lose the ones we love. Especially those who weren't allowed much time in this world."

No kidding, Brooke thought and knew everyone in the room was thinking the same thing.

"Lucas and Peyton told me before we even started discussing anything that they wanted to make sure it was clear to all of you just how much you meant to them," The lawyer said, "With Peyton's prenatal condition and Lucas's heart condition they knew their days on this Earth were limited. And so we begin with the most important person in their lives: their newborn daughter Sawyer."

The lawyer took a deep breath flipping a page in his paperwork—assumably to Brooke: Lucas and Peyton's will.

"The care of custody of Sawyer Scott is given to Brooke Davis."

The room fell silent. Brooke was stunned. She would have thought they'd leave their daugher to Karen, Larry, or Nathan and Haley. Maybe even Derek. But Brooke? Surely they would be angry that their biological family would be left to someone who wasn't blood related.

However no one in the room said a word and the lawyer continued. "The house which was given to Lucas by his mother Karen will be given back to her to do with what she pleases." Karen nodded, holding the tissue she held in her hands up to her nose.

"The record label, Red Bedroom Records, shall be given to Haley James-Scott as well as the rights to its client Mia Catalano." Haley nodded, squeezing Nathan's hand for support.

Brooke tuned out the rest still stunned at the fact that she now had a five-day-old in her custody to raise.

Soon the meeting was over and Brooke was alone. The lawyer sat down next to her. "Miss Davis are you okay?"

"I don't think I can do this," Her voice squeeked.

"Lucas and Peyton put their child in your care. I don't think they would have done that if they didn't trust that you could do it." The lawyer told her.

"But why me? Why not Haley or Karen or her dad?"

"Peyton knew you would ask that," The lawyer pulled out an envelope from between the pages of the will. Written on the envelope—in Peyton's handwriting—was Brooke's name. Brooke took the envelope in her hands as if it were breakable glass. "This will explain everything."

She nodded, picking up her purse and sweater. She left, on her way to pick up the child who was now hers.

To Be Continued . . .


	4. Chapter 3

**Remembering Forever**

_One Tree Hill Season 6 A.U._

**Chapter Three**

Later that night while Brooke watched Sawyer sleep, she pulled the envelope from her purse. She was almost afraid to read it. These were the last words that her best friend of almost twenty years had to say to her. About the reasons she had for leaving her own flesh and blood in Brooke's hands.

Sawyer cooed in her sleep, blowing bubbles. Brooke placed her hand on the tiny baby's back. She opened the envelope and Peyton's scent filled the room. Brooke handled the crisp trifolded paper as if they were old pieces of parchment that would crumble.

_'My dear, sweet, oldest friend and sister....Brooke Penelope Davis,_

_ I never told anyone this, not even Lucas, but that last night I really had with Ellie, when that storm blacked out the entire city's power she told me something. She said to not be afraid. She said that "every song has a coda, a final moment. Whether it fades out or crashes away, every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music?" Well Brooke it seems that my song has ended sooner than any of us thought. I'm sorry for leaving. You have no idea how scared I've been since the doctor explained what the words 'placental previa' meant. I've been trying to hide it, to be brave, crack jokes, but the fear is always there. My song is ending but yours is still going, B. Davis, and I need you to do something for me . . .'_

Brooke then remembered what Peyton said to her at Clothes/Bros just before the wedding: "I'm scared I'm gonna miss it all: my life with Lucas and the baby. And my friends and my family. And you." Had Peyton known all day that something was going to happen? Had she been feeling worse than she'd let on? Brooke got back to the letter.

_'I told our lawyer to give you this letter only when something happens to both Lucas and me . . . so if you're reading this . . . well, I guess Lucas and I are with my mom and Ellie and Keith . . . It just breaks my heart to think that our child is alone, Brooke. The Tree Hill absent-parent-syndome has struck again. Sawyer's alone, Brooke, but that's where you come in. You're my best friend and I love you . . . and I need you to love my child as if she were your own._

_ I know you're probably wondering why you and not others. The lawyer asked me the same question. The truth is, Brooke, that you're my sister and there is no one I'd trust more with my child. I know that she'll have the best possible life with her aunt Brooke and not because you're famous or you have your own clothing line . . . simply because you're my Brooke. I've known you almost my whole life and you're going to raise my little girl right, I can feel it._

_ Now, on to some technical stuff. We left the house to Karen but anything we've already bought or had for the baby is yours, okay? (Truthfully we left the house to Karen in hopes she'd stick around for her granddaughter.)'_

Brooke chuckled. It figured they'd have an ulterior movtive for that. Sawyer was still fast asleep, gurgling and sucking on her tiny thumb.

_'Also, Lucas told me he'd like you to give Jamie his basketball for him—the one Keith gave him. He was planning on giving it to him soon anyway._

_ One last thing, there's a box that I want Sawyer to have when she's older. Just . . . wait until she's ready. When she's had her first heartbreak or she loses someone dear to her. Or if she needs one of those mother-daughter talks . . . don't mind the tear stains I can't seem to stop crying these days . . ._

_ Above all I just want her to know how truly sorry I am that she has to grow up without her mom and her dad. I hate that she has to grow up like so many of us . . . but I'm so relieved that she has you and Haley and Nathan and Karen . . . but mostly you._

_ There are multiple reasons I chose you, Brooke Penelope Davis, and you'll see every one of those every single day. When her first steps make you so nervous that she's going to fall and hurt herself. When she comes home from her first day of school a wreck because she missed you and some dumbass kid called her stupid or mean. When she has a killer 10-page paper due in a few days and she's a mess because she's so overwhelmed that you have to help her or call Aunt Haley for reinforcements. When she graduates high school . . . college . . . You'll know on the day she tells you she's engaged and asks you to make her wedding dress for her. And on the day she gets married or has her first child . . . it will be crystal clear._

_ My point is that you're the perfect choice and even if you don't see it now as you stare into her beautiful eyes she'll remind you every day._

_ You should know I've decided that her middle name is Brooke. When Luke and I were deciding names we both agreed right away to name her after you. You have also won the title of godmother—and Nathan godfather—though I'm sure Haley and Skillz will be there for Sawyer just as much. _

_ Thanks ever so much for a lifetime of memories with my best friend ever and a lifetime full of new ones with a little girl who meant so much to me the moment I knew she existed._

_Hoes over bros forever,_

_Peyton Elisabeth Scott'_

Tears stained Brooke's eyes as she refolded the paper and carefully put it back in the envelope. She picked Sawyer Brooke Scott up and held her close to her chest, rocking the infant as she slept. This little girl was in her care now and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure her goddaughter was loved and had what she needed to be happy and healthly.


	5. Chapter 4

**Remembering Forever**

One Tree Hill Season 6 A.U.

**Chapter Four**

"Sawyer Brooke Scott get your eyes out of that book an get ready for school!" Brooke called down the hall.

"Peaze, Anty Brookie, just five more pages!" Sawyer yelled from her bedroom.

Brooke sighed, poking her head in the girl's room. "No way, missy. You have to go to school. But I promise when you get home you can read before everyone comes over. Okay?"

Little Sawyer thought about it before setting the book down, huffing out a big breath. "O-tay . . . but I not happy 'bout it."

"As long as you get to school on time," Brooke finished putting her last earring in. Twenty minutes later they were out the door and in the car, pulling out of the driveway. Brooke looked in the rearview mirror. "So, my dear sweet Sawyer, you excited for your party later?" The little girl nodded enthusiastically. "It's not every day that my favorite goddaughter turns 5, now is it?"

Sawyer nodded, agreeing. "I'm a big girl now!"

"Yes you are," Brooke said. "And every day you just get prettier and prettier."

"Anty Haley tolded me I look just like mumma," Sawyer told her.

"You really are," Brooke told her. "You're like a mini-version of her."

"What's a anivarseri?" Sawyer asked.

"A what?" Brooke raised her eyebrow.

"Nanny Deb said it was mommy and daddy's anivarseri today too," Sawyer said.

"Oh, anniversary," Brooke understood now. Sawyer nodded. "An anniversary is a day you celebrate when you get married. Kinda like a birthday, only for a wedding."

"I was bornd on mommy and daddy's anivarseri?" Sawyer said.

"Not exactly, sweetie. You were born that same day that your mommy and daddy got married," Brooke explained to her.

"Oh," Sawyer let out a huge breath. "Then the bad thing happened."  
"Yeah," Brooke admired Sawyer's maturity at such a young age. She understood why she lived with her 'Anty Brookie' and why everyone was so sad when mention of her parents came up. Brooke figured it was a Scott trait, remembering how mature Jamie was at that age.

"I miss Mommy and Daddy," Sawyer looked down. Even though she'd never met them, she always talked about how she missed them. "Anty Brookie can we go visit Mommy and Daddy 'fore the party?"  
"Sure," Brooke nodded, "I'm sure they'd love to say happy birthday to you. Grandma Anna and Grandpa Keith too." She stopped the car right outside Sawyer's school. "Have a good day at school, sweetie. And happy birthday."

Sawyer put her backpack on her back and grabbed her lunch box. She opened the car door and started to get out but she stopped. "Anty Brookie?"

"What's up, sweetie?" Brooke turned around.

"Thank you for being my favorite anty Brookie," Sawyer said quietly.

"No problem, cutie. Thanks for being my favorie Sawyer-bug," Brooke smiled.

"I love you, Anty Brookie," Sawyer closed the car door and ran up to the school.

"I love you too, sweetie," Brooke watched the door she ran through for awhile after she was gone. Her heart twinged and she felt something at the base of her spine. Then she remembered Peyton's letter explaining her choice in guardian . . . and she knew. Peyton said there would be moments she would know why she was chosen to raise Sawyer . . .

. . . and this was one of them.

"Hi Mommy, I miss you and Daddy lots," Sawyer spoke to the double gravestone with Peyton and Lucas's names on them as Brooke watched from afar, giving her space. They'd all decided to bury the two right next to each other, not far from Keith and Anna's gravestones. "Today's my birthday. I'm five now. Anty Brookie and Anty Haley say I'm a big girl now. And guess what? I'm _so _almost as tall as Anty Haley. At least that's what Jamie says." The little girl giggled. "He said his momma's real short and then Unka Nathan laughed and said she was an elf."

The little girl sighed. "Sometimes I wish I had a Mommy and Daddy like Jamie and his sister Cami. She's two now. She chews on _everything _even sand it was _so_ gross!!! I miss you all the time. Anty Brookie says that's okay, that its okay to miss you. I have lots of pictures in my room of both of you. And sometimes when I have a bad dream and I'm too scared to go to Anty Brookie's room I hold the picture of you and Daddy on your wedding day. Then I'm not scared anymore."

Brooke watched the little girl sit down on the small step by the stone and lean against it and started walking toward her. "One time I told Jamie wish I had a Mommy and Daddy like him and he said I could share his with him. Anty Brookie's coming, I'll tell you the rest later, o-tay?"

"You okay, Sawyer-big?" Brooke picked the little girl up.

"I'm o-tay Anty Brookie," Sawyer hugged her. "Just sad."

"Me too, baby girl," Brooke rubbed the little girl's back. "Me too." Brooke sat down, still holding her goddaughter. They both started crying.

"Hey, what're you two crying for?"

Brooke and Sawyer's head whipped in the direction of the voice, both immediately ceasing to cry. Sawyer jumped out of her godmother's arms and into the arms of the owner of the voice.

"What are you doing here?" Brooke's voice accused.

"Just spending time with my daugher," The person said.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Sawyer giggled, laughing and hugging the person tight.

"Peyton?" Brooke couldn't believe her eyes. Her best friend was alive. But how?

"In the flesh, so to speak," Peyton laughed, giving Sawyer a nosy-kiss. Peyton was wearing her wedding dress.

"Don't forget about me," A tux-clad Lucas walked up behind Peyton, his arm around his wife. He kissed his daughter on the top of the head.

"Daddy!" Sawyer proclaimed.

"Hey there, pretty girl," Lucas ruffled her hair, causing the girl to giggle. "Did you behave for your Anty Brookie?"

Sawyer nodded, "I sure did. Right Anty Brookie?"  
"What?" Brooke was still in shock.

"Was she a good girl?" Peyton asked.

"S-sure," Brooke stumbled. "S-she was f-fine."

"That's my girl," Lucas tickled Sawyer, who was still giggling hysterically.

"B-but . . ." Brooke couldn't bring herself to say the word.

"But what?" Peyton raised her eyebrow. "What's up?"

"Y-you're . . . you're d-dead," Brooke blurted out. Sawyer stopped laughing, regarding her trusted Anty Brooke with a confused expression.

Lucas and Peyton started laughing, "Why would you say a silly thing like that?"  
"You both died the day that Sawyer was born," Brooke felt weird explaining this.

"Hmm..." Peyton turned to Lucas. "Guess she found out our secret."

"We knew it was only a matter of time," Lucas reminded her.

"What's going on?" Brooke was starting to panic now. What the hell was going on?

"You'll see," Peyton simply said.

All of a sudden they were in Lucas's old house. The rooms were dark save for some white lights. White petals were spread over the whole house leading to the bedroom. Brooke looked and Sawyer disappeared from Peyton's arms and her belly grew. Suddenly it felt like Brooke was floating, watching the scene below her.

Lucas led Peyton into the house, his hand covering her eyes. "And . . . open." He said as he uncovered her eyes. She looked at the beauty of the house and smiled.

"Lucas Scott, it is _beautiful_," Peyton turned to face her new husband.

"Thank you, Peyton Scott," Lucas said.

Peyton's grin grew from ear to ear, "Say that again."

"Peyton . . . Scott," He whispered in her ear.

"God I love the way that sounds," They kissed as she held on to his tie and they stood forehead to forehead.

"We should get you to bed," He drew them back to sighed. "It's been a long day, come on." He started to lead her down the hall.

Both their hands rested on her belly, "It's been a perfect day." Lucas laughed, agreeing. They walked down the hall to their bedroom.

He stopped, holding her gently by the shoulders. "You think you can handle maybe...one more surprise?"

"What?" She said. "I didn't get you anything!"

He shook his head, "It doesn't matter. Just wait right here, okay?" She giggled. "Stay." He laughed as he pulled his jacket off, heading towards the kitchen. He stopped just before the garage door. "Hey? I love you, Peyton Scott."  
Peyton watched him dispappear through the garage door, bliss on her expression as she held her belly. She waited for her surprised, her eye catching something in their bedroom. Just like the rest of the house, their bedroom was decorated in white lights and white petals, plus multiple white candles.

She waited patiently as Lucas went to get her surprise ready. Her hand subconsciously rested on her eight-month-old belly. Everything was perfect. There were lights glowing around the house, flower petals strewn about flawlessly. She'd never seen anything so beautiful and it was all for her.

"Peyton Sawyer will become Peyton Scott." That was the dream and it was finally true.

She smiled, looking down at the new ring on her finger. It was beautiful. Not to big, not to small. Just right.

She glanced down at the petals below her feet. A red drop landed on a white petal, staining the flower. Her smile faded as another drop fell on the flower, followed by a splash of red that gathered in a puddle. Instantly Brooke's earlier words 'would the bride like to wear red today' flashed in her mind.

That's when the pain struck her side, spreading throughout her entire body. She stumbled forward, falling to the floor. The last thing she saw before her eyes closed was Lucas's feet rushing toward her and his voice, "Peyton!

To Be Continued. . .


	6. Chapter 5

**Remembering Forever**

One Tree Hill Season 6 A.U.

**Chapter Five**

_". . . the two of us. And she doesn't even have a name . . ."_

Peyton's mind faded into consciousness as she heard Lucas's words. She? Who's she? Wait, wasn't she just in the cemetery with Lucas and Brooke and . . .

"Sawyer . . ." It sounded awful when it came out of her mouth, but it was strong nonetheless. "Her name's Sawyer, okay?" She finally managed to open her eyes and found herself staring into Luke's teary eyes. Lucas laughed a laugh of relief, looking into her eyes.

"Okay," He nodded, reached out his hand to her forehead and pulled forward, kissing her head. "Sawyer Scott." She could still hear the relief in his voice. "God, you scared me."

It had all been a dream, her dying and then Lucas and then Brooke raising Sawyer . . . it was all a dream. She was alive, she was okay.

He rested his forehead against hers, just like they'd done back at the house after the wedding. Peyton felt a rush of things all at once. She was here, she was live, she was married, and she was safe . . . with Lucas.

"Oh my god," Lucas let out a deep breath, kissing her on the head again.

"Peyton!?"

The two of them turned. It was Brooke, looking tired and worried and a little worse for the wear. She breathed deeply, bending over and smiling.

"You said you would disown me if I left without permission," Peyton reminded her, even though she didn't have too. Lucas and Brooke chuckled.

"Yeah," Brooke nodded. "I'm about to be your second best girl when you meet your new one."

Sawyer. That's right. Oh . . . she'd forgotten in the elation of finding out her and Lucas's death had only been a dream about where Sawyer was now. She went into full mama-bear panic mode. She turned to Lucas for an explanation. "Is she okay?!"

Lucas nodded, "She's beautiful."

"Can I see her?!" Just hearing that she was fine wasn't enough, she needed to physically see it for herself.

"She's right outside, hang on," Brooke left the room.

Right outside? With who?

"I should get the doctor," Lucas's voice told Peyton he was still worried.

She shook her head. "N-no . . . I just want it to be you and me and our daughter for a minute." In the dream both of them had been dead, leaving Sawyer alone without any parents. She didn't want that to turn into reality and the sooner Sawyer was in her arms the better.

Lucas seemed to understand and he nodded, "Okay."

Even as Karen came in the room saying, "Well well . . . my baby's had a baby. And she's beautiful." Peyton didn't notice. Her entire focus was on the tiny bundle in her mother-in-law's arms. It was Sawyer, her little girl. In no time she was holding her little girl, feeling the warmth of her skin and the fast rhythm of her heartbeat. Her maternal instincts kicked into harddrive and she held Sawyer as close as she possibly could.

"H-hi Sawyer," Peyton forced her voice to work, "D-do you remember me? I missed you." She remembered in the dream when five-year-old Sawyer told her 'Anty Brookie' that she missed her Mommy and Daddy. "I'm gonna love you forever." She kissed the tiny baby's head, taking in the wonderful milky-baby smell. It was pure bliss. She looked at Sawyer and then she looked at Lucas and they both laughed, kissing. Peyton couldn't stop staring at the tiny bundle. "She's perfect."

Thank god the dream wasn't real . . . because reality was absolutely perfect.

To Be Continued


	7. Chapter 6

**Remembering Forever**

_One Tree Hill Season 6 A.U._

**Chapter Six**

"Sawyer, honey, come here for a minute. Please?"

"Coming!"

Today was a special day. No, it wasn't Sawyer's fifth birthday and it wasn't 'Anty Brookie' who was trying to get Sawyer's eyes out of a book so she wouldn't be late for school. She'd never told anyone about the dream-no, nightmare-she'd had while she was in the hospital. She enjoyed everyday to the fullest and she loved her children and her husband.

Today was the day Peyton shared something very special with her fifteen-year-old daughter. She'd secretely sent all the other members of the household out for the day, claiming the need for a mother-daughter bonding session.

"What's up, Mom?" Sawyer poked her head in the room, raising her eyebrow.

"I want to show you something," Peyton simply said. "Come and sit down next to me." She patted the cushion next to her. All around the room was pictures of their family. All eight of them, plus one canine.

"Can't this wait? I'm almost done with this song," Sawyer sighed, sitting down.

"Trust me, this will be _so_much better than your music," Peyton said.

"Is it one of Dad's books again? Because I've read all of them already," Sawyer rolled her eyes.

"No, it's not," Peyton reached under the couch, pulling out a floral-printed round box. "This is something that meant a lot to me at one time and . . . I think it's time you see it. But first, we'll watch something." Peyton reached under the lid of the box and pulled out a clear disc case with the words 'Love, Mom' written on them. Sawyer watched with intrigue as her mother put the disc in the dvd player and pressed play.

A younger and bigger-bellied version of Peyton appeared on the screen wearing a green dress and a white sweater. Hey . . . that dress looked familiar. Sawyer was pretty sure she'd seen it in a picture. Her hands held her stomach. Sawyer recognized the room around from pictures . . . it was her nursery when she was a baby. She looked to her mother but she just shook her head and pointed to the screen.

"The Honarary Title, Matthew Ryan, The Cure, Audioslave, Haley James-Scott . . ." The younger-Peyton held up an mp3 player. "They're all on here. It's music to set your life too, and, music always helps no matter what you're going through. So . . . if you flunk a big test or . . . you have a really bad breakup . . . or you just miss someone _so _bad it hurts . . ." Younger Peyton held up the mp3 player again. "Then listen to my playlist. 100 songs to save your life. And . . . it should help." Younger Peyton put the mp3 player in the box . . . the same one Sawyer's mom was holding now. Older-Peyton nodded and Sawyer took the box, pulling out that same mp3 player.

"Oh, and there is this new artist that is really special and her second album is just about to come out so . . . you should check her out. Her name's Mia Catalano." Younger Peyton sat back in the rocking chair, sighing. "Best friend. Okay, this one is _so_ important: Choose wisely, okay? I got really lucky with mine. My best friend is . . . funny, intelligent, creative, beautiful and . . . successful. And very kind.

"And she's also . . . impulsive, frustrating, um . . . complicated, childish, but—I would not have her any other way. And the best part about Brooke Davis is she always puts her friends first. So . . . if you are ever in any kind of trouble now you know who to call. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have watching over you.

"Being a kid without a mom really sucks and I know this because I've been there—twice. And if you're watching this then it means that you're in that place too."

Sawyer looked over, seeing that her mom was crying, obviously lost in the day she recorded this.

"And I am so sorry for that," The video continued. "But if you ever need a mom and dad fix you have Nathan and Haley for that. I really hope that we get to share these things together. But . . . just in case it's all right here." Younger Peyton patted the box and Sawyer looked to her mother for confirmation, who nodded. "Now there is just one thing that I need from you. Please . . . take very special care of your father. Because if I'm not around he's gonna need you to take care of him just like my dad needed me. So love him and take care of him and be kind to him. Just please do that for me."

In the video, younger Peyton's eyes shifted away from the camera. From the backround Sawyer heard a familiar voice. "Peyton, what is this?" It was her dad's voice.

Younger-Peyton put the box out of range of the camera, wiping the tears from her eyes, "I just thought I should."

"N-no. No. You said everything was going to be okay. You said that," Younger-Lucas said.

Younger-Peyton stood up, walking out of range of the camera. "Okay but Luke if it isn't I want our child to be able to remember me. It's just in case."

"Our child's not going to have to remember you. Our child's going to know you, We're not doing this, Peyton." Younger Lucas said.

"Lucas," Younger Peyton said. They were both still out of the camera.

"A death video?" Younger Lucas said. "A sad box of stuff? I'm not having any of this, Peyton. I mean what's next?"

"I wanna get married," Younger Peyton said. "Now."

"Absolutely not," Younger Lucas said. "You're supposed to be taking it easy. Look, after you have this baby and you're all better then we'll get married."

"I wanna get married," Younger Peyton repeated.

"Why?!" Younger Lucas shouted quietly. "Why is it _so_important to do it now?"  
"Because—" Younger Peyton was cut off

"We're not doing anything just in case. Okay?" Younger Lucas said. "I'll be in the garage. You should be in bed." Sawyer heard footsteps.

"Thank you," Younger Peyton shouted. "I love you too, by the way." She appeared back in line with the camera, fresh tears on her face. And then . . . the screen went black.

Sawyer was stunned. She didn't know what to say. All she'd ever told about her the year before her birth was happy things. "Your daddy and I got engaged and we were already so happy but then we found out about you and we were even more happy." Her mother always told her. "I loved your mommy so much so I asked her to marry me. And then when she told me we were having a baby I loved her even more, and I instantly loved you even before I met you." Her dad always told her.

To hear anything but that was just...so hard to believe.

"Sawyer?" Peyton put her hand over her daughter's. "Are you okay?"

"Um . . ." Sawyer took a deep breath. "I guess I'm just confused. You and Dad always said that everything was so happy before I was born."

"Well, we didn't know how to tell you," Peyton sighed. "Everything was happy . . . for awhile." She turned to her daughter. "We went to Las Vegas with the intention of eloping but decided we wanted to get married in front of our family instead. And so we were engaged. When we got back to Tree Hill I moved in with your dad and everything was perfect. Then I started having these pains."

Sawyer listened intently, nodding.

"I went to the doctor and they took tests and asked questions....they had me scared I had cancer like my birth mother did," Peyton said, "But then he called and said I was pregnant and the pain was normal. I told your dad and he was thrilled and that was it. We were engaged and pregnant and happy." She looked down. "I didn't tell him about the pain I'd had because I didn't think it meant anything. Then it happened again, we went to the doctor, and they told me I had a condition called placental previa. It basically meant that I could bleed a lot and if I lost enough blood I could die, and you too."

"Wow," Sawyer let out a huge breath, "I never knew."

"We didn't know how to tell you," Peyton sighed. "We just didn't know what to do. We were so scared that we could lose you or even me. It was just really hard. The doctor gave us options, but we knew what we had to do."

"What do you mean by options?" Sawyer was confused again.

Peyton took a deep breath, "He said that our best option was to terminate . . ." She winced, waiting for Sawyer's reaction.

"Terminate . . ." Sawyer whispered, "Oh, so that means . . ." She trailed off. Peyton nodded.

"Obviously we didn't though," Peyton quickly said, "We loved you so much already we couldn't do that. I knew the risks but I continued the pregnancy anyway."

"And the video . . ." Sawyer was beginning to piece it together.

"You know that picture in your baby book of me, Aunt Haley, Aunt Brooke, Aunt Mia, and your cousin Sam?" Peyton said.

"Yeah," Sawyer knew that green dress looked familiar.

"That was my baby and wedding shower," She told her daughter, who nodded. "But before everyone came over I made a video—for you—in case something happened to me. I wanted to have some way to tell you the things I wanted to tell you and show you what I wanted to show you even if I wasn't around. And, I wanted to apologize to you for not being there for you." She picked up the box, taking the cover off. "In this box is everything you need to know about me and your dad and where you come from."

Sawyer peeked in the box. "Hey that's the cd you made." She picked it up, recognizing the cover which was framed and hung in her mother's office at work next to all of the Aunt Haley and Aunt Mia's.

"That's the album I made to benefit breast cancer for Ellie," Peyton nodded.

Sawyer picked up a picture, "Sometimes I still find it weird you and Aunt Haley and Aunt Brooke were cheerleaders. Well, Brooke isn't so hard to imagine." She laughed and Peyton started laughing too. It was the picture of them at the state championship senior year with Rachel, Bevin, and the other cheerleaders.

"You were not the only one, sweetheart," Peyton remembered Lucas asking her why she was a cheerleader and that she was leasty cheery person he knew.

And so they went through the rest of the box. The picture Ellie had drawn for her of her as the angel of death. And the picture of Ellie and Peyton when she was a baby. And there was the article about Lucas and Dan and Nathan and the Scott dynasty, and the state championship. A picture of the group at the prom in Honey Grove. Wedding pictures of Lucas and Peyton at both their's and Nathan and Haley's vow renewal. There was the drawing of her and Lucas and the words "and now we can have it". And all the strips she'd done in THUD magazine and the note Lucas sent her in class that one day that got them both detention. There was the picture of Karen, Keith, and baby Lucas and the one of Keith and Lucas. There was Keith's obituary paper clipped to Lily's birth announcement. And Jamie's birth announcement...and finally Sawyer's and all her siblings and other cousins with their parents and various family members. There was a picture drawn by a child with the words 'get well soon, Aunt Peyton—love Jamie' in barely legible words.

Peyton showed her the drawings she'd done of the key moments in her and Lucas's relationship. The first was when they first talked to each other and she told Lucas he didn't know her. Then at the state championship when Lucas said "it's you". And finally of when they finally became engaged back in that hotel room in Los Angeles. On the bottom of the picture was the words "love, Mom" The rest of pictures of Sawyer and her siblings growing up, but she'd seen those already.

"So . . . that's everything," Peyton let out a deep breath. "I wanted to wait until I thought you were old enough, when you would understand."

"It's just . . . a lot to take in," Sawyer sucked in a deep breath.

"I know, Sawyer," Peyton nodded. "Just take all the time you need, okay? And if you have any questions that's okay too."

Sawyer nodded. She gulped. "I understand that you didn't tell me because you wanted me to undersand everything when you did. But . . . but if it was so risky having me . . . then why did you guys have so many more kids?"

"Well . . . I guess we loved you so much we couldn't stop," Peyton laughed, "Seriously, though, we never really had any problems after that. The doctors were worried all through my second pregnancy. I think I was on bedrest the whole nine months."

"I don't remember that," Sawyer said.

"Well, you were still little," Peyton told her, "You were only a year old when we found out I was pregnant again." Sawyer nodded. "I do remember though, you got so mad at me because I wouldn't go outside and play with you or go to the park. You got over it though. You spent a lot of time with your aunt Brooke that year."

"I do remember that," Sawyer said, "Vaguely."

"Yeah," Peyton said. "Everything was fine throught the pregnancy. Same with your other four siblings."

"I think you were pregnant my whole childhood, Mom," Sawyer laughed.

Peyton sighed, "Pretty much, yeah."

"Gee Dad must have been a wreck before I was born," Sawyer mused.

"You have no idea," Peyton mumbled. And none of their kids ever would. They didn't need to know the hell their parents went though to get them, just that they loved their children and nothing would ever change that.

"Thanks for showing me that," Sawyer said, "It was really cool."

"You're welcome," Peyton pulled her daughter in a hug. "I really like these days when its just us."

"Me too," Sawyer agreed. "Plus it's really quiet with all six of the kids gone."

"Six? Don't you mean—oh," Peyton laughed, "Are you suggesting that your father is a child as well?"

"Well . . ." Sawyer didn't know yet how her mother was reacting.

"'Cause I'd have to agree with you if you were," They both laughed. Then Peyton became serious, hugging Sawyer again. "You know I love you, right?

"Of course, Mom, and I love you too" Sawyer said. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Peyton shook her head, "Everything's fine."

"For reals, Mom, because you just told me you've been lying to me my entire childhood about how 'fine' everything was before I was born . . ." Sawyer trailed off.

"No, this is different," Peyton said. "You're old enough to understand and deal with the good and the bad now." Sawyer nodded. "Now, lets clean all of this up before everyone gets home."

The two set out to pick up all the photos and drawings and other memorabilia of their past. Not a word was spoken while they did it—none were needed. All that needed to be said was already said, all that needed to be shown had been shown.

When they were finished, Sawyer went into her room to finish her homework leaving Peyton alone in the living room. She gazed around the room at the moments of the life she and Lucas had built. All the pictures of their kids, their neices and nephews, their friends and family. She saw her favorite picture on top of the mantle and went over to it, picking it up.

It was a recent photo of all of her children lined up in order by age. First was Sawyer Brooke, of course, at 15 years old. Then came Julie Anna at 13, Cassandra Haley at 10, Brayden Keith at 7, and Aaron Nathaniel at 3. And of course the newest member of the family, Elizabeth Karen, at just 1 year old.

All of her children were vastly different in personality, interests, and talents. There was one thing they all agreed on though, that they're family and they should protect each other despite those differences. Lucas and she had taught them that, raised them well, and were-more or less-satisfied with the behaviour of their children.

When people asked her if her life was hectic at all with six kids and a full time job. The answer was always the same: "My husband and I have always been fine, and I imagine we always will. We have friends and family who help us, plus it doesn't hurt that we both are our own bosses and can work from home if need be. We manage, and we're a happy family. Hey, at least we don't have 12! Wow, I can't even imagine." At which point the person would laugh or smile going along with the joke. Sometimes people believed her, sometimes they didn't. It didn't really matter to her though because she knew what was right and what other people thought didn't interest her.

She loved her husband, she loved her children, she was happy with her life . . . what more did she need?

Sometimes at fleeting moments she would think about what would happen if something bad were to happen. Could she handle it? Could she survive? Then she remembered the dream she'd had so many years ago . . . and the worry went away. If something bad was going to happen, it was going to happen whether she wanted it to or not. The only thing she needed to do to be okay would be to make sure she enjoyed every moment of life she could hold on too before it was too late. And if she could do that, then, well whatever's coming will be a piece of cake compared to what she's been through already.

"Honey, we're home!" Lucas's voice yelled as the front door open. The sounds of laughing, shouting, playing children filled the house.

Peyton sighed, savoring the last few moments of silence she'd experienced before the door opened and her happy children filed in. "'And so', Max said, 'Let the wild rompous start'."

The End.


End file.
